I got the biggest longest f-ing splinter on my finger just now, and it took 2 hours to remove.

So there I was trimming my sister’s guinea pig’s butt hair on my wood deck in the back yard since it grows long and had some mats in it. The breeze was blowing my way and her dirty trimmings kept getting closer to me, so I decided to brush them away with my hand on the wooden surface? Smart idea? F NO!!! One wrong stroke and the longest splinter I’ve ever gotten. It was stuck perfectly just under the skin, but it was so long that it hurt like hell to try and just pull out. So, for 2 hours I spent my time sitting on the bathroom counter with a sterile needle (get ready for this) DIGGING the splinter out. The was a part of the splinter sticking out on the left side, and there was a hole on the right end. So, I took the needle and carefully drew a thin line from the top to the bottom, and continuously did so until I had created a nice split to pull the sliver through and out of my skin. It hurt like hell, but it finally worked after much careful concentration.

Afterwards I flushed the demon splinter and sanitized my new wound, and bandaged it.

I can say goodbye to any possibility in hand modeling for a while with these Frankenstein hands I have now…I’m never helping a stupid animal ever again.