Instead of playing my flute, I now feel like slumping over to the couch and eating some microwave s’mores while watching some crappy tv.

My boyfriend sure knows how to make me feel loved.

————-

I mean, COME ON!!! SERIOUSLY?!?! He’s been gone for an entire fucking week!!! I called him every single night and asked him about his day and told him how much I missed him and every day I just thought about him all day and kept planning our perfect day together when he got back and he was going to give me back rubs and kisses and we were going to cuddle and watch movies and back cupcakes and take naps and it was going to be a lovely relaxing time…but NOOOOOOOO, that fucktard would rather have band practice for hours and then go to the open house of some stupid bitch he hasn’t talked to since 7th grade!! WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING WRONG?! I guess that it’s just overrated to miss your boyfriend nowadays…

Seriously, there’s no better way to make me feel like shit and like I don’t matter quite like saying you’d rather practice with your band and go hang out with people that you “hated” from high school afterwards than hanging out with your GIRLFRIEND.

I thought I came first in his life. If I were the one on vacation for a week, I would choose hanging out with him as soon as I got back rather than practicing with my band for a show I had in two days and then going to a party full of people I didn’t like.

What the flying fuck.

If you need me, I’ll be listening to dramatic songs on repeat.

Aw yeah, life is great.

So, it’s Spring Break.

I’ve been free all week, but my boyfriend was busy hanging out with friends and practicing with his band and stuff.

I finally found something to do, and hung out with my cousins for a day. When I came back home, he called me but I wasn’t really focused enough to talk on the phone yet because I had to put stuff away and tend to my guinea pig and find something in my closet for my dad and start some laundry and check up on the interwebs…I just wasn’t focused on him when we were on the phone, so I asked if I could call him back later. He seemed a little bummed, but said okay. Sometime during this conversation, he mentioned that he wanted me to come over the next day because he was bored and missed me.

A few hours later, I try calling him 5 times, no answer, gave up.

Called him back a little after 9, still no answer, gave up.

Called him after 11, he finally answered but was like, “oh now you’re ready to talk? Well guess what, I’m busy. I’ll call you back in a few minutes.”

Half an hour later, he calls me, and I don’t remember what we talked about at first, but then he eventually asked me when I would be able to come over, so I was like, “any time tomorrow after noon would do,” and then he goes on saying I can’t come over because he’ll be busy practicing with his band and that they decided this an hour before I called him at 11…which was stupid because earlier that day he said he’d be free. Then he goes on about how he’ll be with his band Saturday and Sunday too, and this leads to me lightly crying because I’ve wanted to hang out with him as much as possible over break, but he’s always fucking busy. ALWAYS. Whether it’s the band or the plays or the friends or the “needed alone time.” So then after a minute of silence he asked what I was doing and I replied with crying so he got all mad and basically started yelling (not really yelling but the mad tone) at me for crying because I miss him, and how he doesn’t understand what I want from him. He then asked me if I’d prefer he dropped everything in his life to wait around to hang out with me whenever I feel like it. Of course I said no…but what the hell! I’m always free. ALWAYS. He’s always busy. ALWAYS. Whenever I actually have sometime to do with people and I won’t pick up his calls because I’m out somewhere like the mall, he gets all upset because I won’t talk to him and then when I finally have free time again and I call him back, he acts like I was being selfish for not wanting to talk to him then or something.

He’s not always an ass, but sometimes I just want to light him on fire.

Sometimes this relationship feels so bipolar.

and then somebody on tumblr goes and turns the table and makes you sound like a complete bitch for your view and opinion,

and then soo many people reblog them and keep saying “this”…

fml.

At least the close tumblr people I sorta do know thought it was amusing.

I normally get up at 5:45 to start getting ready for school…

But anyways,

This happened at 3 am.

So I’m sleeping. I wake up suddenly to my cat Dumas sitting in my bedroom window (which is within reaching distance from my bed) making a strange sound like he’s about to throw up. Naturally, although I was half asleep, I thought quickly to reach for him and attempt to remove him from my room and possibly shove him outside before he had the chance to puke.

Terrible move.

I reach for him, and he freaks out, screams at me, wraps himself around my hand for a moment, and scratched the hell out of it. I let out a shriek of horror that I can’t even imitate. (I would know because I tried to for my friend earlier.)

Little did I know that he was actually yowling at a cat outside my bedroom window (still don’t know why he sounded so strange and like liquids were moving up his throat though), and he was very puffed up and ready to pounce, in complete attack mode. When I reached for him, it startled him and he proceeded to attack me. My scream of horror sent him dashing.

My hand was definitely bleeding with about 5 identifiable scratches, two look more like deep punctures. It’s been giving me terrible pain all day, and I can’t move my thumb, pointer, or ring finger too much without it aching immensely. I’ve washed my hands when able, changed the bandages 3 times, let it air out occasionally, had a peroxide session, everything. At one point I also examined to make sure he didn’t leave anything under my skin, and I ended up having to pull out a couple pieces of fur from one of the punctures.

Cats are awesome…not.