I Regret Nothing.

I see a girl that can make me laugh no matter how depressed or angry I am over anything. I love my best friend. :D

Happy national best friend day. :)

Well, here comes the new (senior) school year. Many people are excited to see all of their old friends and tell the tales of their summer adventures, but not me. :P

See, I didn’t have any crazy summer adventures this year. I sat on my ass in front of my laptop all day every day. When I didn’t, I sat on my ass watching tv or  movie or something with a friend. Others went on crazy road trips and lived at the beach and went to other countries…but I just sat around.

I think my problem is that others view me as though I hate everyone and I don’t need anyone…which I really don’t know how this came to be. Freshmen year I was just a crazy young girl that considered the school band her family. Then a year passed, and I began talking to other people and started disliking a small group of people in band. I just found them to be annoying. Then I discovered the trend of being slightly mean to get laughs, because out of everything, I love the feeling of making people laugh, because then I assume it means they enjoy my company.

I always felt a hard smack of “you’re so stupid” in my face after I ever got called on in class (and didn’t know the answer) or had to give a presentation in front of people. I always feel like afterwards, everyone only claps because they think I’m “slow” and want to be nice or something. If they really think nothing and I’m just over-reacting, I don’t know why I won’t just accept nice gestures.

My boyfriend told me the other day that I tend to give off the vibe that I hate everyone. Honestly, I do think I might seem like it at times, but I seriously wish I had more friends. I just want to feel included and loved, but lately I’ve felt like there’s a wall between me and everyone else, like there’s some secret that I’m missing out on. Every new day when I check my facebook, it seems like a week went by for everyone else, and I wish I could be with them, but no.

Maybe I’m just whiny and paranoid that nobody likes me and I’m just overreacting and I need to get a life and confidence…but I don’t know how.

Sorry for the bummer posts, it’s just a mood that’ll pass. :P

I dislike when I see something and I’m like, “hey, that looks just like this,” but then when I finally compare the two things (two pictures, two people’s faces, you know), I realize they look nothing alike and I just feel dumb.

I think my new foreign sister from belgium looks exactly like one of my new freshmen in my flute section, but when they finally get compared, all hope will be lost.

I saw the “all is lost cat” and thought he looked like Fizgig from The Dark Crystal…but no. Very much no.

is a ridiculous thing.

I posted a status on facebook stating that I had the moves like Jagger. A girl from my friends list posts the same exact thing 2 days later and over 10 people like it in a heartbeat. They’re all on my friends list as well.

This is the most fancy game console I’ve ever had. Stand back, ps1 and nintendo…

…and then I realized, maybe I am just lame.